Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Branch AE: Printout of Doom

Well, here's that mutually assured destruction scenario we worried about for all those years. And naturally, we got it because we involved Congress. I hope you all learned something here today. Whenever you involve Congress, people die. Also, the Evil Power Master, like all good Care Bears villains, uses his negative emotions to survive weaponry.

Ending AS:
Type: Failure/Death

That's what you get. Well, let's not do that, instead, let's haphazardly attack him ourselves, with no warning.

Martian this and martian that. Shut up, Flppto. you're going to get ground up into delicious martian lunchmeat because you have irked us. How about you learn to steer us away from meteors.
This time around, the Evil Power Master didn't put up much of a fight. I don't think we'll really be sorry until we remember how funny his head looked, and start to miss it.

Ending AR:
Type: Victory

Well, that certainly put ol' Bigface in his place (Hell), but I like to think we can make better decisions than that. Let's rewind a little bit. Instead of searching for answers and solutions, let's sit in front of an AppleIIe, and maybe play some Lode Runner.

Yes, worship your IT department, for they control your access to email, pathetic fools. I don't think using conventional computers was the mistake here, but using really old computers that predate even SSL and other basic security features. But no, the Evil Power Master wouldn't listen, his computers HAD to run the Oregon Trail in it's original format, natively.

We need to beat Flppto to death. It's always Congress This and Congress That. Listen here you freak, I'm holding a computer printout from an AppleIIe, with the paper tape and everything. I'm going to tear off the paper tape and fold little patterns with it, which is why there is no time to listen to Martians!
The Void of Niro... this doesn't sound like a trap, no.

Decision time! Branch AT will force us to talk to Congress... AGAIN. I'm pretty tired of that. Branch AU on the other hand will send us right to Follop, by ourselves. We could really go either way here.

Ending Catalogue:
Total Endings: 4
Victory Endings: AC AR
Failure Endings: AB AS
Death Endings: AB AS


Anonymous said...

Huh...so we DID do better than Congress...I knew it. :3

Alright, now we've got computer data...well, since we did better than congress last time, I'm pretty sure we can do just as good this time too! Screw congress, let's take the fight to them!

Jigglysaint said...

I say go for AT. Thank god Canada doesn't have a congress. In case you've been thinking, yes I AM trying to get the universe blown up.

Pure-??? said...

hmm. 4 out of 30 endings. we're making progress.

honestly, I think that if you'd even consider talking to congress first, your nuts. but everyone knows, you're going to do both.

Valter said...

Talk to congress! Talk to congress!

Also, Lode Runner? I haven't played that in ages.

Anonymous said...

Lets NOT talk to Congress. Maybe they shall die when we win...

Matthew said...

I keep reading EPM and hearing the voice DC did for Skuljagger :)

Anonymous said...

Ignore congress, the congress has failed you so many times already.